Category Archives: Life

Big Mama, Medicine Woman

I am now my mother.

Way back during the times that dinosaurs roamed the earth I was a teen living in the home of my mother and father. In one house (my fave), was a nice sized kitchen. Open, eat-in style with plenty of cabinet space and a walk in pantry. The upper cabinet closest to the pantry housed the family pharmacy. In it were all the prescription meds, otcs and vitamins. We certainly had medicine cabinets I just don’t recall medicine being in them. The kitchen was it and looking back it makes sense because the kitchen is where the beverages were and required for taking meds, unless you’re a person with snake-like tendencies swallowing pills whole without water. None of us are snakes.

I am now my mother.

Around age 37 or so the proverbial poo hit the fan. I thought I was having a heart attack, madamoiselle drama queen called the nurse advice line who told me to call an ambulance and go the hospital. Now EMTs weren’t an unusual site in my townhouse community as there were a few neighbors who were seniors. I was NOT a senior and was getting hauled off to what later became a more frequent hangout spot, Northside Hospital.

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I was a big lady, am now too but even bigger then. I tell them I’m having chest pains and can’t breathe and these fools put my big butt on a treadmill on INCLINE. They kept speeding it up until I was running. Then they looked at me crazy because I was running. I’m like, “don’t get it twisted I’m a 200 lb cardio queen.” But I digress, they finished the stress test, told me my heart was fine and that I was having an asthma attack.

Whaaaaat??

They used to say that you “outgrow” asthma. Those famous theys lied. I’d gone 20 years without problems but the greenery of the metro and the smog had me jacked up. After painful allergy tests, allergy shots which I still get, Ct scans (just had one last week) and alllllllll the meds I’ve become my mother, the lady with the kitchen medicine cabinet except my kitchen is far less spacious and said meds are kept In a basket. Most of the basket is filled with vitamins, however meds are ever present to handle all of my various maladies. Do I like it? Nah. Are there alternatives? Yeah sure, just haven’t found anything that doesn’t cause HIVES. So for now, I do what is required in order to keep all my fluffiness upright and above ground.

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What about you? When was the moment that you became your mom/dad/grandmam? Let me know in the comments or the usual places. Until next time, see you in the vitamin aisle or the pharmacy where I’ll be trying to maintain.

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Changes

It’s Memorial Weekend and hot as a mug in the metro.  Last I wrote it was the dead of winter, well it was January anyway, not that cold here.  Nonetheless, it’s been a long time and I’m glad to be here, but MAN things have been hectic.

Health – is meh. Fitness is blah, weight is through the ROOF.  You see really since about September I have been WORKING.  At one stretch in the last months I was working four, yes FOUR jobs.  I had bidness to take care of, debts to settle and it was just required. Now I know certain folk are beasts of fitness and manage to balance the whole world on their shoulders while staying tip top (POTUS & FLOTUS I see you).  I’m not that good at scheduling nor motivated enough to try to do all the things.  An ole broad got to sleep sometimes.  So to maintain energy I sparingly worked out, sparingly practiced yoga and stayed afloat on a steady diet of milk duds, popcorn and Nutriblast juice.  Helluva a combination right?  Well after 4 jobs, 10 lbs and seemingly endless financial roadblocks this happened:

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Photos: MsThorns

YEAHHHHHH BOYYYEEEEEEEE, ye olde broad bought her very first house!  I’m in it now, it’s an absolute wreck and in spite of the inspection I have been getting stuff fixed non-stop, but… not sharing a wall with someone I don’t live with has been priceless. I didn’t know how much that was on my nerves until it wasn’t there. More importantly though I never thought it would happen, and it did.

The working has slowed, I walked today and it was nice and soon, I hope to exhale completely. In the mean time I leave you with this.  As long as you’re upright and above ground you have a chance to change your life.  Eight years ago, I was fragile AF, a middle aged divorcee starting over with NOTHING but problems, some of which I never thought I’d ever overcome, but I did. Wasn’t easy, sometimes it still isn’t but I kept it pushing, kept the faith and got some stories to tell.  I had to live through it to tell it and I’m thankful that I did.  You can too, whatever that thing is that you THINK you can’t over come, you can honey. It’s not too late.

Video: David Bowie